I had a completely different blog post to write today. I had it roughly planned in my head to talk about what happened with us with the church five months ago and what’s been going on since then. But God had other plans.
(I will write that one, but apparently not today.)
It’s been a long five months since my husband and the church where he served parted ways. There have been happy days, and days that are peaceful, and there has been growth and learning and listening to God. But there have also been hard days–weeks–painful times, anger, hurt, sorrow and feelings of desperation, fear and the painful sense of being cast aside.
There are times when we have felt the presence of God so strongly, and times when we’ve felt as though He’s forgotten us.
This morning was one of those latter times. Nothing was wrong, per se, except that we’re working hard not to be anxious about provision or lack thereof, and we’re struggling to meet needs of those who have reached out while still being conscious of giving time and attention to our own family and to each other.
I was talking to Olivia, and I suddenly had a flash of a scene from the musical Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. It was the part where Joseph is in prison, wrongfully accused of having tried to rape the wife of a high official in Egypt. He’s interpreted dreams for two of Pharaoh’s servants, but they have forgotten him.
Close every door to me,
Hide all the world from me
Bar all the windows
And shut out the light
Instead of my name
Forget all about me
And let me decay
I’m only one person
Destroy me completely
Then throw me away
He chastens and hastens His will to make known;
The wicked oppressing now cease from distressing;
Sing praises to His Name; He forgets not His own.
There it was again. He forgets not His own.
I love it when God reaches out to give us reminders, if only we’ll open our eyes to see them. Even as I sat here at the table, struggling to hold onto His words, Clint got a phone call from a friend. It wasn’t anything that changed where we are or how we’re doing, but this man reached out to check on us, subtly letting us know that he had not forgotten about us.
We are not alone.
All of us have plans and dreams and a certain route we’ve mapped in our lives. We see how things should go in the World According to Us. It seems so clear, so simple, that when our journey veers from that plan, it’s hard to accept it or to reconcile our ways with His ways.
Isaiah 55:8: “For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways,” declares the LORD. 9“For as the heavens are higher than the earth, So are My ways higher than your ways And My thoughts than your thoughts.…”
Stubbornly, I want things to go MY way. I reason with God: “It would really be nice if . . . I can’t see why this can’t happen . . . Seriously, just give us this and we’ll make it work.” But what I’ve learned is that if we have told God that we are handing Him the reins, he’s taking us as our word. He’s going to lead us the way He knows will bring us the most growth, the most blessing (ultimately) and the greatest most efficient fulfillment of HIS will.
Thy kingdom come, THY will be done . . .
It’s not our timing. It’s not our way. It’s His. And what He asks of us is trust, obedience and whatever confidence we can manage to dredge up.
Lamentations 3:25-26 “The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord.”
Folks, I’m here to tell you, if you haven’t experienced it yet . . . this isn’t easy. It’s painful, this stretching and stripping and growing. It hurts. It tears us from friends and family and comfort and contentment and a sense of belonging. It can mean sleepless nights, days of tension and uncertainty about what comes next . . . it’s not for the faint of heart.
God’s economy is such that He will never accomplish just one thing when He can affect more than one. He loves to bless as many people as possible and grow as many as possible. That’s why HIS timing is so important. That’s why He calls us to wait on Him.
So today, I’m clinging to that promise. He hasn’t forgotten us. Remember what happens with Joseph? Pharaoh has a dream, and finally, the cupbearer remembers that Israelite down in the prison, who was kind of good at interpreting these things. Joseph, who could’ve been forgiven for expecting never to see the light of day again, tells Pharaoh what God is saying, and his foresight and faith are rewarded when he is elevated to the highest position in the land under Pharaoh.
What’s more, he is eventually reunited with his family and comes to know great blessing. God used Joseph: if Joseph had not been sold by his brothers, kidnapped to Egypt, wrongfully accused and put into prison, he wouldn’t have been in a position to guide Egypt and to help his family during the famine.
For we know we shall find
Our own peace of mind
For we have been promised
A land of our own.
I’m holding tight today. I am not forgotten. God doesn’t forget His promises or His people. Will you pray with me and for me?